Welcome to the wild west of spirituality, where snake oil is rebranded as sacred oil, and ancient wisdom is turned into eBook upsells. If you’re looking for peace, truth, or a path to enlightenment, be careful—because you’re not walking into a temple anymore. You’re walking into a corporate cult, and they want your money, your email, your loyalty, and ideally, your soul on direct debit.
Let’s get one thing straight up front: not every spiritual teacher is a con artist, and not every digital product is a scam. But the explosion of online gurus, secret societies, multi-level marketing (MLM) empires, and manifestation hustlers has created a minefield of illusion.
Meet the Players in This Digital Circus:
1. DoTerra – The Oil-Slicked MLM Goliath
Let’s start with the squeaky-clean face of essential oil wellness: DoTerra. What began as a health trend has morphed into a billion-dollar MLM machine. Members aren’t just customers—they’re recruited into an evangelical sales cult. You’re encouraged to believe that lavender oil can cure depression and frankincense will realign your DNA.
What they don’t tell you? Most of the money isn’t made from selling oils to customers—it’s from recruiting other sellers. Sound familiar? It should. That’s MLM 101. The higher you climb, the more you start to realize it’s not about healing—it’s about hustling.
2. George Mentz – Illuminati for Sale
Mentz is a lawyer and prolific author who’s written over 200 books—many co-authored with mysterious figures like “Magus Incognito.” His titles claim to reveal the secret laws of the Illuminati, Freemasons, Rosicrucians, and other ancient power structures.
Spoiler alert: he openly admits that the word “Illuminati” is a marketing hook. He’s not channeling messages from the Elders of Zion—he’s selling spiritualized self-help in bulk. It’s Law of Attraction with a secret handshake.
Look, there’s nothing wrong with visualization, mindset training, or goal setting. But when you dress it up as arcane, mystical rites from a secret brotherhood of world rulers, it stops being helpful and starts being a hustle.
3. Shi Heng Yi – Shaolin or Shopify?
Shi Heng Yi appears to be the real deal—disciplined, well-spoken, and grounded in Eastern traditions. But behind the Zen façade is a modern e-commerce operation, complete with YouTube channels, tiered memberships, and a 12-month “Self-Mastery” course.
Don’t get me wrong, his teachings are solid. But the structure is starting to smell more like a well-oiled funnel than a monastery. Students become disciples. Disciples become brand evangelists. And you end up wondering: is this awakening or affiliate marketing?
4. David Icke – The Conspiracy King Who Cashed In
Then there’s David Icke, the undisputed heavyweight champion of the WTF arena. Lizard people, global cabals, moon holograms—he’s spun them all into a decades-long narrative that keeps evolving just enough to stay fresh.
He’s not doing this for free, folks. Icke has made millions selling books, DVDs, livestreams, and lectures. His conspiracy empire isn’t about truth—it’s about attention and monetization. And when you tell people they’re in a Truman Show run by interdimensional reptiles, you create dependency. Your audience needs you to explain everything.
5. Illuminati.org – Secret Society with a Shopping Cart
Go ahead, visit the site. It claims to be a gateway to a modern Illuminati—a benevolent elite working behind the scenes for global peace and prosperity.
But dig a little deeper and you’ll find: opt-in forms, vague promises, symbol-laden merch, and slick graphics. Real secret societies don’t advertise on Facebook. They don’t send welcome emails. They don’t run drip campaigns. This is a cosplay cult, and you’re the mark.
The Recipe for a Modern Corporate Cult
Here’s how they cook it up:
- Take basic self-help tools (meditation, journaling, prayer, goal setting).
- Wrap it in mystery: Freemasonry, Shaolin wisdom, alien downloads.
- Create a charismatic figurehead with robes, mantras, or a microphone.
- Build a community that isolates dissent (“you’re not ready,” “you haven’t ascended enough”).
- Promise miracles but always sell the next tier.
Why These Cults Work So Well
People are lonely. Disillusioned. Searching for purpose. Traditional religion is declining. Politics are a mess. Big Pharma is distrusted. The world feels insane.
Enter: the corporate cult.
They promise clarity. They offer tribe. They give you an identity. You’re no longer just struggling—you’re “awakening.”
And while you’re busy meditating and affirming your divine birthright, your bank account is quietly leaking $47/month for the premium plan, the hidden lesson, the secret book, the oil bundle, the chakra detox webinar replay.
From Enlightenment to Funnel
Many of these operations follow the same marketing blueprint:
- Free webinar or ebook to hook you in
- Email nurture sequence filled with spiritual buzzwords
- Limited-time offer to join the “inner circle”
- High-ticket mastermind for the “fully awakened”
It’s the same funnel Tony Robbins, Tai Lopez, and every crypto guru uses—just painted with sacred geometry and Sanskrit fonts.
The Cost of Being “Awake”
People don’t just lose money. They lose critical thinking. They burn bridges. They become obsessed with ascending higher, vibrationally purging, or exposing the reptilian cabal that lives next door.
It’s not enlightenment—it’s spiritualized addiction.
And like all good addictions, it has a supplier. One with a Shopify backend and a monthly KPI target.
Real Spirituality Isn’t for Sale
Want to know what real spirituality looks like?
- It’s quiet.
- It’s free.
- It makes you more present, not more paranoid.
- It empowers, not enslaves.
- It simplifies your life instead of turning it into a multi-tiered marketing campaign.
Final Word: Wake Up from the Awakening
If you’re chasing truth, find teachers who charge fairly and live modestly. Watch out for funnels disguised as freedom. Don’t confuse mystery with wisdom, or charisma with character.
And never, ever forget:
A real secret society doesn’t want your email address.
Stay awake—not just from the matrix, but from the spiritual grifters who claim to be your way out.
About the Author: Jeff Travis is an independent author and digital publisher who’s seen every trick in the book—and refuses to sell snake oil in a velvet bottle. He writes to expose nonsense, uplift readers, and build something real
